Part Fifteen
How could I ignore the fact that
the only girl I have ever liked, almost loved, was lying on the bed, naked with
my best friend? Even worse than that, he was my brother! I stopped running and
just broke down crying. I didn’t know what to do now. I remember why I never
went after girls in the first place. Look what they’ve done to my brothers.
Look what Randi did to me. I didn’t know where I was or what I was going to do
form here. I didn’t know L.A. that well. All I knew was that I couldn’t go
home. I didn’t have a desire to at the moment. To know she is only a block or
two away, is torture enough. The tears were still in my eyes, but I didn’t
want to cry. I stood up, dusted myself off, and started walking. I looked at the
ground the entire time. It was somewhere around three in the morning I figured.
I found a little 24/7-resturant that was open. I walked in and sat way in the
back.
“What can I get for you?” The
waitress looked down at me with her pad ready.
“Water’s good to start.” I
tried to be as nice as possible. There’s no use taking my aggression out on
other people. I looked at the menu. I checked my pants for my wallet. It was at
home but I was able to pull out ten-dollar bill. I decided I should eat
something. A big greasy burger sounded somewhat appetizing. The girl came back
with my water.
“What can I get for you sir?”
“I’ll have a cheeseburger
with fries please.” I set the menu back in its place.
“Anything else?” I shook my
head no. She stood there for a second and then left. I never lifted my head up
once. Everything was all jumbled around in my head that I couldn’t think
straight at the moment. I finally did look up to see if anyone else was there. I
saw a few people, looked to be college kids, sitting up at the bar area. I
looked over at the door to see a few more people walk in. I figured this must be
where everyone comes to eat at three in the morning. I just kept to myself until
my food arrived.
“Enjoy your meal.” She set
the food down and went to wait on the others that just came in. I picked up the
burger and took a big bite out of it. Boy was that ever what I needed. I smiled
somewhat as the grease slid down my stomach. I got some ketchup out for my fries
and ate those too. Nothing like some grease to settle your stomach down. I ate
everything in peace. The waitress set the bill on the table. It was only four
bucks. I finished my last fry and went up to pay. I gave her the ten and got six
bucks back. I dug in my pocket to find another one and put two dollars as a tip.
I walked out the door into the crisp morning air. I didn’t know what to do
now. I walked to wherever the road would take me. I was a little surprised that
there were no cops out patrolling or anything. I thought for sure I would of
seen one by now. I guess I am just lucky like that. I came across an elementary
school. I figured there would be a playground by it somewhere so I walked around
back. I found a swing and just sat on it. What was I supposed to do now? I’m
in BFE. I figured Tay and them were somewhat worried about me. This wasn’t
fair to them, so I decided to go find a payphone. I didn’t have any change so
I’d have to call collect.
“Please say your name after the
tone.”
“Zac.”
”Please hold while we connect your call.”
“Hello?!” Tay’s voice rung
through the phone. I could tell he was worried and somewhat scared. “Zac?”
“It’s me.” I wasn’t sure
what to say.
“Are you alright? Where are
you? What are you doing?” He fired one after another.
“I don’t know where I am, but
I am alright. No need to worry.”
“I have been worried sick about
you! Please come back here so we can figure something out.”
“I’m not coming back right
now. I can guarantee that. Who else is there?” Nothing. “I said who else is
there?”
“Ike an…and Randi. They’re
worried about you too.” I could tell he was hesitant to say Randi’s name.
When I heard it, I felt the tears well up again.
“Well there’s no surprise.”
I felt the anger again too. I guess I still couldn’t believe what I had seen
at the party.
“Come on Zac, just come home so
we can talk about this. I know you must feel so horrible inside. You have every
right to be mad, but you’ve got to understand. I’m just looking out for you
and I don’t want you to do anything drastic.”
“I’m ok. Just leave me
alone.” I slammed the phone back on the hook. I didn’t know what to do. I
stood there for a little bit and decided to walk be towards home. I wasn’t
sure where to go but I figured the road would lead me. I wasn’t tired I was
just blah. I had no feelings at the moment. I walked into the sunrise. After an
hour or two I found myself in a familiar place. I was able to find our house
from there. I walked up to the door a put my ear against it first. I didn’t
hear anything. I turned the knob as quietly as possible. It was locked. I went
over to my window and lifted it up. I forgot to lock it last time I opened it. I
climbed through there and closed it back up. My door was already shut so I
locked it so no one could come in. I changed into something comfortable and got
under my covers. I just laid there for a little bit looking at the ceiling. I
didn’t want to think anymore, my brain was beginning to hurt so I drifted off.
“Zac? Are you in there?” I
heard Tay’s voice outside my door. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or let
anyone know I was here. Well even though it was obvious I was. He stopped after
trying to get my attention and let me go back to sleep. I was going to until I
heard talking in the living room.
“Is he in there?” Ike sounded
like shit. I didn’t feel sorry for him though. He deserves everything he gets.
“I think so. There was no
answer when I knocked on the door. I just think he wants to be left alone.” I
felt bad that Tay had to be in the middle of this. He didn’t do anything and
all he wants to offer is help. The first person I talk to would be him. That’s
if I decide to talk to anyone soon.
“What am I going to do? I feel
so unbelievably bad. He’s never going to speak to me again. You know how he
gets. But he has every right to be mad at me. I just hope he can find it in his
heart to forgive me.” I could tell he was on the verge of tears. He never
cries, or very seldom does he cry. I still had no sympathy for him. I didn’t
want to hear anymore, so I just went back to sleep. When I woke up again it was
the next day at about 11:30 am. I could tell Tay was up because I heard him
talking on the phone. Ike must have been asleep. I decided now was the best time
to talk to Tay. I picked up the phone.
“…so then they all left and
went back to my house…” he was talking to Angie.
“Tay?” My voice cracked a
little.
“Zac? Is that you?” I could
here a little bit of excitement in his voice.
“Yeah, come to my room
please.” Then I hung up. I got up and unlocked the door. I heard him say this
was really important and told Angie he would call her back.
“Zac…” Tay entered my room.
“Lock the door behind you.” I
said as I lifted my head to make sure he did so. He came and sat down next to me
on the bed. I glanced in the mirror on my dresser and I looked horrible. No one
should ever have to wake up to that. It made me smile a little because I looked
so goofy. I looked back at Tay. For once he didn’t know what to say to him.
“Just to let you know, I am not okay with anything. I’m not sure how long I
will be like this, but please understand this just ruined my life. I’m not
going to do anything stupid about it though. I do have a brain. I just need time
alone. I want to be able to stay in this house without anyone…” I was
looking for the right word. “…without anyone acknowledging me basically.
More or less likely saying Ike. I don’t want anything to do with him this
moment. Also if I see Randi I might go insane so make sure she stays away. I
don’t mean for you to be in the middle, but I don’t want to go insane and I
want to be able to love and trust someone again. Do you understand?” I had
this weird feeling like he was going to reject me and make me talk to Ike. I
knew if I did that I would go off. I would need a straight jacket and I nice
padded room.
“I understand Zac. I will do
everything in my power to help you. If you want to talk, please, please come to
me. I love you with everything and I don’t want this to be worse than it
already is.”
“Thank you.” I hugged him. I
hope everyone has someone like this in their life. My brother was the best thing
in my life. Nothing could ruin our friendship. Tay got up and left. I locked the
door again and went back to sleep. Somewhere in the middle of the day I was
awaken to the sound of music. I decided it was time to get up anyways. My
stomach was hungry. I hesitated to go out into the house. I was afraid if I saw
Ike he might say something and then we’d get into a big fight. I wanted to
avoid that for now. Without thinking I just opened the door and went into the
kitchen. The music was still playing on Ike’s guitar so I figured he either
didn’t know I came out or he actually is doing what I had to Tay for him to
do. Ignoring me. I put some water on to boil so I could make some mac and
cheese. I then got a whiff of myself and decided to take a quick shower while I
waited for my water to boil. It took me about five minutes to get cleaned up and
by then Ike had stopped playing the guitar. I went back into the kitchen and had
to add a little more water to boil. I made my mac and cheese and ate it in
peace. It tasted so good. I haven’t had it in forever. I ate the whole pan and
drank some milk. I love those little Pokemon guys. They taste so yummy. After
eating that mac and cheese I felt a lot better. They reminded me of when my mom
would make me it for lunch when we were little. It was my favorite thing in the
world. I cleared my dishes and went outside. It was a bright sunny day. I could
hear kids playing in the distance laughing and running around. I wanted to go
out so I left Tay a note saying I was gone.
“Hey Zac!” Angie came across
the street. “How are ya?”
“Fine.” I smiled. “What’s
up with you?”
“I told Tay I would come over
today when he called me back. So I’m on my way to see him.”
“Are you two going out?” I
blurted out. It caught both of us by surprise.
“Well no, we’re just
friends.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t know
why I just said that.” I blushed a little. “I think that’s my cue to
leave.”
“It’s okay, but I’ll see ya
later.” I left her to go to my brother and went off walking. I didn’t stay
in the streets of our complex, I went out into the public. I had a hat on hoping
no one would notice me. If they did that’s okay, but who knows how many Hanson
fans live in LA. I went into some of the stores and looked around. I’m really
not a big shopper. I stopped at a Burger King to get a chocolate shake. I had a
craving for one. I was about to leave when I saw a familiar face. Well two
familiar faces to be exact.
“Michelle? Rachel?” They both
turned around.
“Zac, what are you doing
here?” they said together. For once they didn’t seem too excited or happy.
“I just went out. What’s
wrong with you two?” I sat down by them.
“You probably don’t want to
know because it has to do with you know who.” Michelle said as she got up to
throw her trash away.
“It about Randi isn’t it.
Well what did she do?” I was interested in what else she’s done.
“Well after the whole incident
she hasn’t been herself. We’re here for another week.” Rachel was
interrupted.
“Well that’s what we
thought.” Mish looked at Rachel.
“What do you mean?” Rachel
obviously didn’t know what Michelle was talking about, not that I did either.
“Randi didn’t tell you?”
Rachel shook her head no. “Well mom called, and she said we get to go to
school her for the year!” They both freaked out together.
“Oh my god! This is a dream
come true! Living in L.A. We’ll be the three musketeers again!” They
squealed. I just laughed because of how goofy they looked. Whatever floats their
boat I guess? “How were we able to convince her?”
“Well Randi’s mom called her
and said that Randi needed us and blah blah blah so mom said it was okay!”
They freaked out again. I think I was begging to understand why Randi was a
little annoyed with them sometimes. If I think about it though, she was probably
just like that before too. I just watched them freak out together in amusement.
“So Zac, we’re staying her for like a year!” They both turned and hugged
me.
“That’s great you guys. I’m
going to go though, I have to be somewhere soon.” I lied.
(Best read while listing to the
song.)
“Alright, we’ll see ya
around.” Rachel smiled and I left. I had nowhere to be; I just didn’t feel
like talking to them at the moment. All though I never did find out what Randi
did. That’s not important though. She’s the last person I need to worry
about right now. I couldn’t stop thinking about her though. Everywhere I
looked something reminded me of her. The ice cream shop reminds me of when we
went there after I first met her. The beach reminds me of when we went Angie and
Sarah. The water reminds me when I met her and Audrey. I think I am really in
love. I thought she felt the same way about me too. Now I was left with nothing.
How could she sleep with my own brother? My own flesh and blood. How could Ike
do this to me? I felt the tears well up again. I was so confused. I then
remembered the night when I knew it was real.
~*FLASHBACK*~
“If
you’re not doing anything tomorrow wanna stop by?” She looked up to meet my
eyes.
“If
I have nothing to do, I’d love too.” I grabbed her hands. We stared into
each other’s eyes for a minute. The moon was lighting up the sky and the stars
were shinning brightly. Just then a shooting star zoomed across the sky. “Did
you make a wish?” I asked quietly.
“My
wishes have already come true.”
“And
what would that be?”
“You.” She smiled. I leaned in close and kissed her. It was the perfect kiss. Nothing could ever destroy it. We broke free and I left. I felt like I was in a movie. Everything had just fallen into place. I would remember that night forever.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*